Stupid names for music artists

This is a post I'd included on my now defunct Compulsive List Addiction blog.
I feel it's just as appropriate today, actually - because the names are still stupid.

I didn't even touch on country since I'm not really a fan, and I'm sure there are loads of bizarre alternative bands that I don't have here, but here's what I came up with

Stupid names for rock bands/artists

This list should be self-explanatory.

*) Led Zeppelin

*) Biff Naked

*) Ben Folds Five

*) Staind

*) Supertramp

*) Pink Floyd

*) Franz Ferdinand

*) Butthole Surfers (I mean, seriously.)

*) Stone Temple Pilots

*) Smashing Pumpkins

*) Rage Against the Machine

*) Def Leppard

*) Fountains of Wayne

*) Matchbox Twenty (20)

*) Insane Clown Posse

*) Kula Shaker

*) Dead Kennedys

*) Lynyrd Skynyrd

*) Hootie and the Blowfish

*) Oingo Boingo

*) Hoobastank

*) Toad the Wet Sprocket

*) Chumbawamba

*) Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts

*) Death Cab for Cutie

*) Blink-182

*) Goldfrapp

*) Panic! at the disco

*) Dexy's Midnight Runners

*) Echo and the Bunnymen

*) Grand Funk Railroad

*) Blue Oyster Cult

*) The Buggles

*) Right Said Fred

*) Canned Heat

*) Everything but the girl

*) Finger Eleven

*) Frankie Goes to Hollywood

*) The Honeydrippers

*) Mazzy Star

*) Mungo Jerry

*) Queens of the Stone Age

*) Stabbing Westward

*) Wall of Voodoo

*) Glass Tiger

*) The Troggs

*) Steppenwolf

*) Kajagoogoo

*) 30 Seconds to Mars

*) Sponge

*) Squeeze

*) Wham!

*) Achers of Loaf

*) Red Hot Chili Peppers

*) Pearl Jam

*) Talking Heads

*) Fall Out Boy

*) The Dropkick Murphys

*) Goo Goo Dolls

*) Blind Melon

*) Men Without Hats

*) System of a Down

*) Thin Lizzy

*) The Din Pedals

*) Puddle of Mudd

*) Procol Harum

*) Letters to Cleo

*) Marcy Playground

*) Meat Puppets

*) Armor for Sleep

*) Concrete Blonde

*) The Live

*) The Band

*) The The (yep, really)

Did I miss any? I'm sure I did.... Let me know.

Wrong on so many levels...

When it comes to Halloween, I'm all about having fun.
But some of these pet owners are really out there...
In the spirit of the silly season, I present a photo list of unbelievably ridiculous dog-parents.
After all, it's not the dog's fault that they are dressed like this!



My favorite - easily the best one here.



Second fave. Mucho originality!



Kinda an odd couple - Superman and Darth Vader?



Don't give them any chocolate!!



Ok, now we're starting with the weird stuff...




I've actually seen cuter spiders!



If I saw this coming down the street, I'd run!




Does one person own all these dogs?



This bothers me.



So very sad, and the dog even knows it.



Marty Feldman eyes...


>
The scary part? This probably wasn't even for Halloween.


>
See why I don't like clowns?




Whoa! Is there anything but the head in there?




Not even remotely funny.


>
They'll be lucky the dog can walk with that on his head!


>
Kinda funny, actually...




I'll just take mine plain, thanks.




Yoda, right?



And our grand prize for the saddest act here.
Have you EVER seen a dog look more pathetic?
I just want to rip it off him and give him a hug.
His 'parents' should be shot.

By Request, For Shawn

Top Ten Things I Hate About Weddings:

10) Long-ass church ceremonies.
Please don't have multiple bible readings. We are in a church but we are not AT church.
Please don't write your own vows. Too personal. I don't want to hear it.
Please don't have people sing. Most people can't. Just realize that.

Please don't walk around the altar several times chanting something like you're in a cult.
Please don't have children under 3 as part of your wedding party. They cannot, and will not stand through a service. Hence the running begins and I start to get very anxious.
Please just say I do and let's head for the reception.
No one really cares how in love you are but you. We're all just being nice.

9) Bad bridesmaid dresses. Like, 80's style monstrosities....

or like this:

or God forbid this:

or for the love of all that is good and sacred, THIS:

Face it, no one is EVER actually going to wear those things again.
Seriously.
Unless you are dressing as a hooker for Halloween.

8) Bad DJs.

This means you Mr. Icantgetarealjob...
Stop playing things like 'I will always love you' (dude, the song's about a breakup), the song from 'Titanic' (sounds nice, but the guy died, butthead!), and 'Theme From A Summer Place' (we need words in songs, man!)...

7) Weird wedding cake flavors. That kiwi-mango-pineapple cream tasted good 10 months ago when you tried it, but hey, we're not in Hawaii the last time I checked. Please - everybody loves plain white wedding cake. Just go with that.

6) Gifts. For people that have already lived together for five years. This busts my butt more than anything. People who have gigantic wedddings and expect 400 people to give them gifts when they already set up house years ago. Not cool, people. Not cool.
How many toasters do you really need?

5) Rambling best man speeches...
Just because you have known the groom most of your natural born life and you share a history doesn't mean we all need a play by play of your most memorable moments.
That time you both got so drunk you slept in the trunk of you car was SO funny..... to you.
Please. Stop. Talking.
We're hungry!

4) And stop clinking your glasses with your forks.

It's driving me nuts. Do you think you could let the happy couple eat their cabbage rolls and chicken in peace? I'm sure they aren't thrilled with the endless clanking - they will get to all the lovey-dovey stuff in the bridal suite at the hotel a bit later, ok? If they aren't too tired, that is.

3) The Receiving Line.

Waiting to exit the church.
Having to pee.
It takes forever.
Damnit.

2) People who come to weddings in inappropriate attire.

Now I'm not one who likes to dress up. Neither is the hubby.

But we are certainly more presentable than the dude in Army fatigue pants, boots, and a baseball cap. (I will excuse you if you are just in from Iraq, but that's it)

Or the chick with the call-girl-esque short skirt, 4 inch spike heels, and the cleavage-popping bra-top. She's obviously looking to hook up with....someone.

And unless you're in Texas, leave the cowboy boots and hat at home.
I was at a wedding once where a guy wore cut off shorts. Seriously.

Make an effort, ok?

1) The Chicken Dance! If I never, ever, EVER hear that F&%$ing song again I will be a happier person because of it.

**On the brighter side:
my TOP TEN REASONS TO ENJOY A WEDDING:

10) Speedy ceremonies. Short and sweet. Do you? I do. Do you too? I do. The end.

9) Open bar. Rock on.

8) Cameras - so you can snap photos to be used against people in the future.

7) Catholic receptions. There is always bound to be great food.

6) Cookies (as long as I don't have to make them)

5) Flowers. Pretty most of the time.

4) Cake. Traditional wedding cake icing is the all-time best, don't you think?

3) Making fun of people dancing. There's nowhere better to do this.

2) Love. Ok, that was sappy. Never mind.

1) The happy couple. We are delighted, ecstatic, overjoyed, blissful and elated for you.
Try not to think about the divorce rate being at least 50%.
You could be the lucky ones.
I hope you are.

Best wishes.

Food for thought...or not.

(No friend of mine.)


While I was sitting at a Chinese restaurant (a very good one, actually - PF Chang's at the Waterfront in Pittsburgh), I got to thinking about food I would not eat.
Probably because my father in law made the obligatory remark about the possibility of the food being cat. He even went as far as to say he had actually eaten cat when in Vietnam in the late 60's (ugh).

Anyhow, it brought to mind (because of a few menu items I cringed at) things I just can't see myself eating. And there is alot of disgusting stuff out there.


(Seriously, who the hell would EAT those?)

Now I'm certainly no Andrew Zimmer - and though a fan of Anthony Bourdain, he is also not my food eating role model.
So let's just skip all the things that most ordinary people wouldn't ever eat anyway- like bugs, monkey brains, animal penises/testicles/intestines, blood pudding, rats, cats, dogs, horses and any other unimaginable feast (that means camel, too, Bourdain!)...

Let's just go with what folks out there are actually eating that turns my stomach.

*oysters (looks like snot. might be.)

*escargo (that's snails, people! seriously! I mean, look at the picture up near the top of this entry. Makes my blood curdle at the thought.)

*caviar (quite a fancy word for fish eggs. If they just said fish eggs no one would eat them)

*lamb (because I like little sheep)

*veal (because I like little cows, dammit!)

*pigs feet (pickled like my grandfather used to eat them, or otherwise)

*liver (animal insides... just not cool)

*brussel sprouts (I'm willing to admit they look cute, isn't that enough?)

*celery (because it is stringy and waaayyyy to strong-flavored)

*pulp-full orange juice (without pulp, fine. Too much pulp and I'm gagging)

*sushi (what are we? cavemen? I believe fire WAS invented, no?)

*cottage cheese (I can't even get past what it looks like...)

*prawns (I actually can't say I've even eaten these, and they are probably good... but man do they look like the thing of nightmares. Come to think of it, so do shrimp and lobsters, but I love them...)

*head cheese (that should just be self explanatory)

*fatty meats, or just fat in general (my grandmother ate tons of this and lived to be 89. Go figure.)

*SPAM (I recently bought some, thinking ' oh how cool, I used to eat this when I was a kid ' ... then I ate it and thought.... 'maybe it wasn't SPAM I was thinking of...')

*canned peas (for the love of God why do they taste so UN-like actual peas?!)

Still hungry?

Let's get a pizza!

Things I ponder while riding on the back of a Harley...

Funny how my mind works...
When riding as a passenger on the back of the hubby's bike, my mind wanders to the most unusual and ridiculous subjects.
There's nothing to do but think, so that's what I do.
Here's what I think about.

*do horses and cows get along?
*long driveways = nice houses
*roadkill baked in the sun all day = horrific olfactory experience
*some trees look like Ents
*mock orange flowers smell divine
*chestnut trees smell... well... 'er.... strangely erotic
*some people have too many plastic kids toys in their yards
*wonder if we'll stop at the Dairy Queen?
*empty old schools are sad
*potholes in road make for sore rump
*are all Saint Bernards like Cujo?
*why did I think I wouldn't like this?

In the good old summertime...

Best things about SUMMER:

*) hot dogs over the fire
*) flower gardens
*) honeybees (unless they are stinging the hubby)
*) rides on the Harley
*) bats (do you realize how many moisquitoes they vanquish?)
*) the smell of suntan lotion
*) amusement parks
*) drive in theaters
*) 3 legal holidays (not including flag day!)
*) porch swings
*) thunderstorms
*) corn on the cob
*) small town fairs and festivals
*) fireworks
*) the smell of rain on the hot pavement

Summer Breeze...makes me feel whine

The most annoying things about SUMMER.
*) mosquitoes
*) humidity
*) wasps and yellow jackets
*) allergies
*) the smell of roadkill
*) ants at picnics
*) leather car seats
*) road construction
*) brush fires
*) school's out
*) tornadoes
*) hurricanes
*) temps above 85 degrees F
*) air conditioning (most of the time too cold!)
*) TV re-runs

George Carlin : Top ten quotes

My first compulsive list is, on the sad occassion of George Carlin's passing yesterday, my top ten favorite Carlin quotes.

10) A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

9) You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.

8) Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

7) Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

6) What was the best thing before sliced bread?

5) Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
4) If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

3)Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

2) There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? _____,_____,______,_____, ____-____, _____-_____, and ____.(if you don't know 'em, look 'em up)

And my favorite:
1) A maniac will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a bunny suit at the time.